Покритикуйте резюме пожалуйста.

В областях, не связанных с IT
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ERROR
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Покритикуйте резюме пожалуйста.

Post by ERROR »

Dear Madam/Sir,

I am pleased to enclose my application for the COMPUTER TECHNICIAN position. I was very eager to learn about that opportunity since the requirements description perfectly matches my qualifications and I am sure I could succeed at this role. I consider that opportunity as a great start for my professional career in the USA.

I'm fluent in English, Russian, Ukrainian and Hebrew and fully authorized to work in the United States for any employer.

I brought 3 years of technical support and networking experience. As indicated in my resume, I was acting as a help desk specialist at high level of technical support team, solving critical problems in a highly dynamic customer-facing environment. I also possess 6 years of technical experience as a computer system technician, solving all kind of hardware or software problems. I have extensive experience in system administration, including system maintenance, workstation support, Internet connectivity, security services, load monitoring, and back-up procedures.

I have Bachelor's Degree in Electronics & Electrical Engineering. My final project was - development on Visual C++ and research of PCM, DPCM and ADPCM codec's for speech compression.

I see that position as a very interesting challenge. I am a highly motivated person and would be eager to make my contribution to your company's success.
I look forward to meeting with you to discuss potential work in the near future.
Thank you for your consideration.


Sincerely,

NAME.


Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions at PHONE or write me at EMAIL











NAME
ADDRESS

Summary of Qualifications________________________________________________
Highly competent and motivated IT Specialist offering dynamic experience in the design, development, and delivery of results-oriented solutions to meet the emerging of technological needs of diverse business environments and customer driven initiatives. Self-directed facilitator, well-versed in areas such as systems engineering, programming analysis, optimizing and customizing hardware/software applications. Equal strength in problem solving, troubleshooting, and organizational/time management. Hard working, quick learner with keen analytical ability and initiative. Record of peak performance and exceeding corporate expectations.

Professional Experience___________________________________________________
Bezeq International - Israel, 2000-2003 – present (Leading ISP and telecom operator serving 600,000 customers in Israel)
Technical Support Technician
• Provided technical support to the company's customers and effectively resolved technical problems related to hardware, software, network, network protocols, and Windows operating systems
• Trained and instructed new employees

Bit Computers – Israel, 1998-2001 – present (Computer store & consulting firm)
Computer System Technician
• Built, repaired, customized, and performed troubleshooting/testing activities on computer systems and peripheral equipment.
• Installed and customized operating systems and software applications.

Education & Training____________________________________________________
Academic College of Engineering - Tel-Aviv, Israel 1998-2003
• Bachelor's Degree in Electronics & Electrical Engineering

Bezeq International - Israel 2000
• Technical support training course, with concentration in operating systems, hardware, networking and Internet.

Blich High School - Israel 1991-1995
• High school diploma with concentration in physics and computer science.

Technical Summary______________________________________________________
• Languages: Java, C, Assembly (80x86), VHDL, HTML, PSpice, Orcad.
• Operating Systems: DOS, Windows 3.x/9x/2000/NT.
• Office Productivity: MS Office, Visual Studio, Antivirus & Backup Software.
• Hardware: System Boards, Mother Board, Network Interface Cards, Modems, Sound Cards, Video Cards, SCSI and IDE Devices, SIMMs and DIMMs, Memory, Clock Circuits, Logic Probes, Oscilloscopes, Multimeters.

Languages: Fluent in English, Hebrew, Russian and Ukrainian.
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thinker
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Re: Покритикуйте резюме пожалуйста.

Post by thinker »

ERROR wrote:I am pleased to enclose my application for the COMPUTER TECHNICIAN position.


Общее замечание по cover letter - oно написано продуманно и грамотно, однако может быть overqualified для позиции computer tech. Я бы убрал фразы типа "system administration" и добавил, то что компутерные технари часто делают: phone support, soldering skills... :wink:

ERROR wrote:I have Bachelor's Degree in Electronics & Electrical Engineering. My final project was - development on Visual C++ and research of PCM, DPCM and ADPCM codec's for speech compression.


Это вообще бы не писал :nono#: - еще одна зацепка, говорящая о том, что Вы overqualified для позиции технаря. Из образования часто требуется всего А+ or Microsoft сертифиkат, которых у вас кстати нет. :?

ERROR wrote:Bezeq International - Israel, 2000-2003 – present (Leading ISP and telecom operator serving 600,000 customers in Israel)
Technical Support Technician
• Provided technical support to the company's customers and effectively resolved technical problems related to hardware, software, network, network protocols, and Windows operating systems
• Trained and instructed new employees


Но самая большая проблема выше. Три года последней работы вы сумели описать всего двумя пунктами. :roll: Очень мало и очень коротко (особенно для последней работы, на которую и смотрят большинство работодателей) . :umnik1: Я бы добавил как миниум 3-4 других пункта, описывающие ваш опыт.... and phone support and customer skills - a must!
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FF
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Post by FF »

ну вот та же ошибка что и у всех.
Уберите свое знание языков. Каким образом оно имеет отношение к вашей работе? Не нужно писать о разрешении на работу. Ведите себя как американец а не иностранец. Так же уберите предложение где пишете о якобы вашем шансе первой работы в США. Это лишнее и это только ваши роблемы а не работодателя. Держите эту радость при себе. :-)
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ERROR
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Post by ERROR »

Спасибо. Поправил все вышесказанное. Может есть еще какие нибудь идеи?
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EMT
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Post by EMT »

Better:

...I could succeed IN this role.

My LAST project was...

...development IN Visual C++...

...if you have any questions BY phone...

...or write me AN e-mail (BETTER: ...contact me BY phone or VIA e-mail...)

...offering dynamic experience??? - (Better: extensive experience. "Dynamic" is usually used when describing the environment, a company etc.)
Мимоходом...
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thinker
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Re: Покритикуйте резюме пожалуйста.

Post by thinker »

ERROR wrote:Professional Experience___________________________________________________
Bezeq International - Israel, 2000-2003 – present (Leading ISP and telecom operator serving 600,000 customers in Israel)


Bit Computers – Israel, 1998-2001 – present (Computer store & consulting firm)
Computer System Technician


Дата должна быть указана как два года: год начала работы, и последний год на работе. Если вы продолжаете работать в той же компании, то последний год заменяется на Present. Например:

1998-2001
2000-Present

У вас же 1998-2001 – present - очень запутанно. :?
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