Покритикуйте резюме. Безжалостно и безпощадно.

[Goodmen]

Petrova Marusya
E-mail: 123456@yahoo.com
Address: 1258 East 56 St.
Brooklyn, NY 10147
Home Phone: (718) 756-3258
Education: BS, MS
Salary: Open
Willing to relocate: Yes, to Any
Green Card holder
_____________________________________________________________________________

Paralegal/Administrative assistant

OBJECTIVE: Ability to set-up work schedules. Capability to work under pressure and meet deadlines. Exceptional planning and organizing skills. To obtain a challenging position that will utilize my experience and enhance my skills with rapid growth
opportunity.
PERSONAL
QUALITIES: Accommodating, Pleasant, Responsible, Fast learner, Eager to learn new skills,
Like things neat and organized, Able to listen and write at the same time.
CAREER
OBJECTIVE: To obtain a Full-time or Part-time position. Willing to learn new responsibilities
with on-the-job training.

SKILLS: Good Communication Skills, Cash Handling Experience, Responsible.
Computer skills include DOS, Windows95/98/NT/2000/XP, Excel, Microsoft
Word, Microsoft Works, Access, Internet, Westlaw, lawoffice, ability to
prioritize, research, prepare documents and problem solve. Experienced with the
use of all office equipment. Ability to type 50 wpm with 100% accuracy

EDUCATION: 1998 Business Courses, Moscow, Russia

1993-1998 Saratov State University, Mathematical faculty, Russia

Graduated from Russia High School in 1993

EXPERIENCE:
· 08/2003-10/2003 ***** Law Offices P.C. , Brooklyn, NY
Paralegal/Administrative assistant. Full-time.
Drafted and filed legal documents in response to strict deadlines. Performed
and obtained productive legal research. Achieved client confidences by way of
excellent communication skills and maintained confidentiality. Demonstrated
flexibility and independence. Performed general office duties including filing,
heavy typing, billing, and faxing. Preparation of cases for arbitration.
· 03/2003-08/2003 ***** Law Offices P.C. , Brooklyn, NY
Copy machine/File room. Full-time.
Copying and sorting of files. Preparation of files for arbitration. Handled
incoming mail (orders and catalog requests). Provided training for new
employees.
· 07/2000-02/2003 Machine-building plant, Moscow, Russia
Teller, Operator PC. Full-time.
Skill distribution and offers of the goods. Support and use of a database of the
account and movement the goods. Successful training of new users.
Calculation of arrival and the charge of the goods.
· 05/1999-06/2000 Travel Agency, Moscow, Russia
Office Manager/Secretary. Part-time.
Explanation to clients the information on our service. Researched Internet to
obtain necessary information. Typed documents quickly and accurately to
meet strict deadlines. Supported staff in daily activities and maintained
confidentiality. Performed general office duties including filing, and heavy
m typing.

Addition Information:

Petrova Marusya
E-mail: 123456@yahoo.com
Address: 1258 East 56 St.
Brooklyn, NY 10147
Home Phone: (718) 756-3258
Education: BS, MS


Dear Sir or Madam:
It is with great interest that I am inquiring about the paralegal/administrative assistant position currently available in your office. I believe my skills and experience make me an excellent choice for this position. My excellent computer skills and quick learning ability allowed me to test out of the computer keyboarding class very early in the program, with a score of 55 wpm.
Besides the Legal job category, I am also interested in the Human Resources and Government/Non-Profit areas. I am detail-oriented, organized and have excellent writing and communication skills. I am a team player and have always developed a good rapport with clients in every position. .

Thank you for your time. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Very truly yours,
Petrova Marusya

[thinker]

Full-time.

Это лишнее и у вас оно повторяется в каждой работе. Убрать срочно!

Skill distribution and offers of the goods. Support and use of a database of the
account and movement the goods. Successful training of new users.
Calculation of arrival and the charge of the goods.

Каждое новое предложение должно начинаться с глагола в прошедшей форме, который указывает на то, что лично вы делали. У вас же получилась каша. Исправить здесь и во всех остальных работах, где та же ошибка.

Paralegal/Administrative assistant

OBJECTIVE: Ability to set-up work schedules. Capability to work under pressure and meet deadlines. Exceptional planning and organizing skills. To obtain a challenging position that will utilize my experience and enhance my skills with rapid growth
opportunity.
PERSONAL
QUALITIES: Accommodating, Pleasant, Responsible, Fast learner, Eager to learn new skills,
Like things neat and organized, Able to listen and write at the same time.
CAREER
OBJECTIVE: To obtain a Full-time or Part-time position. Willing to learn new responsibilities
with on-the-job training.

Два OBJECTIVEs???Ни когда такого не видел.

OBJECTIVE: To obtain a Full-time or Part-time position

Совершенно пустая фраза, которая ни о чём не говорит. Срочно убрать, а OBJECTIVE переделать. Фразу

"Ability to set-up work schedules. Capability to work under pressure and meet deadlines. Exceptional planning and organizing skills"

перенести в skills.

Вообще у вас очень много ошибок. Посмотрите, как составляют резюме другие или купите книжку и научитерсь сами.

[Goodmen]

Спасибо
Резюме смотрела примеры, но наверное мало. Язык у меня слабоват. В этом основная проблема.

Кто еще видит в моем резюме ошибки - пишите.

[MaxCan]

Как я понимаю, вы "затачиваете" это резюме под позицию admin. assistant. Мое мнение, OBJECTIVE вещь вообще лишняя, максимум что там надо - позиция, на какую претендуете. Поэтому, если хотите, а также на случай потери вашего cover letter работодателем, оставьте там To obtain an Administrative Assistant position. Все остальное - полная чепуха с точки зрения employer.

У вас, как я понимаю, очень приличный typing. Поставьте его на первое место в skills. Можете даже выделить. Education перенесите в конец. MSс - ну вам решать, я бы убрал. DOS - думаете кого-то заинтересует? Если думаете, что да - оставьте, но уберите в конец. Начните с Word, Excel, Access.

Operator PC - хм, хм... Придумайте что-то другое. Clerk, Office assistant, etc
Ваши обязанности в этом месте на вяжутся со словом Teller. Да и вообще, теллеры обычно в банках. Mashine-building plant думаю лучше заменить manufacturing.

Покажите это все native speaker и поговорите с ним о том, что вы хотели сказать. Он вам переделает. Исправленный вариант выложите снова для критики.

Успехов.

[Goodmen]

Спасибо за замечания, MaxCan.
Приму во внимание ваши коментария.
Спасибо!

[FF]

Обычное home-made резюме.
А почему вы не хотите воспользоваться услугами профессионалов?

[DP]

Обычное home-made резюме.
А почему вы не хотите воспользоваться услугами профессионалов?

alex55 - а нельзя ли как нибудь посмотреть на результат "услуг профессионалов" ??? я имею ввиду резюме до и после, и сколько за это взяли денег... любопытно.