GOD vs. DEVIL

[Lite]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

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Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as
long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And
they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

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And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And
Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane and combined them. And
Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

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So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And
Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery
croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man
and Woman unfastened their belts following the
repast.

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God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.

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God then created a light, fluffy white cake,
named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is
good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
named it "Devil's Food."

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God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds.

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And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so
Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

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Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low
in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan
peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.

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God then gave lean beef so that Man might
consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

>And Man went into cardiac arrest.

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God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
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Then Satan created HMOs.

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Thought for the day .....

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There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's
research. This means that by 2040, there should
be a large elderly population with perky boobs
and huge erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them.