It is time someone got to the bottom of everything that people say about Hillary Clinton. Who is she? More importantly, WHAT is she? I have compiled the following timeline of her life by combining all the actual theories about her. When lined up together, they form quite a biography.
Before Time, Before the Earth Was Made, Before Matter and Being and History: Hillary Clinton (Lucifer, Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, Prince of Darkness, Satan, She Whose Many Names the Cats Scream in the Night) is cast out of heaven for overweening hubris. She is condemned to lie in eternal torment in a lake of fire surrounded by her fallen angels, or, alternatively, to run for a major office while female. For thousands of years she lies outside time, smelling of sulfur, before deciding to undertake the second option.
Oct. 26, 1947: Hillary Clinton, a robot, is constructed by Saul Alinsky, then slipped into a bassinet and delivered to the Rodham house, where it stores its Six Human, Relatable Memories of squeegeeing, family life and honest toil.
Fall 1965: The young Hillary Clinton is replaced by a new model, this one with glasses. It retains only one of the memories, the squeegeeing. It attends Wellesley, where it decorates itself with spectacles and what conservative commentators will later describe as ONE VAST AND HIDEOUS EYEBROW LIKE A CATERPILLAR IN WHICH MANY WELSH MINERS COULD BE TRAPPED AND LOST AS IN A HORRID, THORNY FOREST.
[These books will help you hate Hillary Clinton. But only if you already do.]
Spring 1969: Hillary Clinton graduates from Wellesley, although first she gets in touch with Alinsky and his mentor, Satan. She fails to mention at the first meeting that she, too, is Satan, and then once they know each other it seems too awkward to bring it up. As a consequence, the Devil mentors Herself for many decades, wasting everyone’s time and effort. She also founds the Islamic State. She will toil for many years in secret on this passion project, keeping it even from Bill, whom she is about to meet. Once, during his presidency, he will ask, “Is there anything I should know about, Hills?” and she will shrug and say, “Nah.” A bit confusingly, she also begins to fight the Islamic State, which she will spend her entire adult life doing.
Fall 1969: At Yale Law School, Hillary meets Bill Clinton, who courts her by staring at her from across the room while their eyes speak the Old, Dead Language of the Darkness Beyond Worlds. She is also a lesbian, who, interestingly, does not let this dissuade her from pursuing numerous heterosexual affairs, for which, although frigid, she has an inexhaustible appetite. It is at this time that she acquires her witch powers (she is also a witch), although her familiar, the cat Socks, will not manifest until the Clinton administration, when she will use him to contact Eleanor Roosevelt.
1969 to present: ...
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Holy Cow
Печально! Тогда вы точно - "Хильковская большевичка". 
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